Thursday, July 9, 2009
CONFUSED.COM (part 2..on a lighter note)
Before I start....I was just wondering if it bothers anyone that I can't write without dotting?...lol..its really bad..but its a habit of mine...i know how to use normal punctuation and stuff but I just always do it...even when i text or email people....I am actually going to try not to dot in posts starting from now.
So this is sort of a continuation of my earlier post about being confused. Okay so , remember how I said I was looking for a hot muslim guy to date yeah?, well Ayo hooked me up with her "cousin" so to speak and he's muslim. He also seems very nice but he's just not my type. Ayo thinks its because he is not hot, and he is just okay looking but I like sort of skinny guys, not too skinny but on the smaller and taller side. And this dude is kind of big, hes not fat or anything but hes definitely bigger than my usual catch. I have been giving him a cold shulder and acting all stuck up even though he's been nothing but nice to me but I am just one of those girls who get ticked off by attraction. I need to be attracted to you before I can allow myself to get to know you. This right here is my weak point, people say it shallow but i say its me having a preference. I am scared of chasing him away because muslim guys are rare and I don't want to regret it in future but at the same time I am finding it hard to force myself to play along. Just incase you were wondering, I am absolutely fine with marrying an xtian dude, hell i have never even dated a muslim guy, but my sis is having trouble with my parents at the moment because her boyfriend is xtian and shes said hes the one. So I am just trying to avoid getting myself into that situation.So this muslim guy is also a older aswell, I hear he is 25 but I don't trust Ayo, from the picture he sent me I though he was 30, which is not bad considering we end up marrying people older than us.So lets call muslim guy Abdul
And then there is Shola, OMG I haven't actually told any of my fellow dames about him but he is hot as hell. But he is also 19!!! I know, and I am 22 so its so wrong yet I just can't stop wanting. I wont even lie and say his looks have nothing to do with it because it has everything to do with it. Its actually really bad because I he is the first guy I have kissed that wasn't my boyfriend. I am or should I say I used to be a bit of a conservative girl, never kiss a guy on a first date, no sex, u know, the usual rules but when Shola went for it, I didn't give him a cold shoulder or make one of my usual cheeky comments i simply let him kiss me. Haha, now I feel like a slut, I kissed a random guy, i hope he doesn't think its something I do on an everyday basis. So problem with Shola is that hes 19 and will probably be an immature boyfriend, and he ain't muslim!! *sob sob*
And then , there is my ex boyfriend. Just so you know, he is not an option before somebody pulls out my hair but I am just going to give you his gist anyway. So my ex whom I broke up with about 3 weeks ago has apparently been calling me. I say apparently because I wasn't sure initially. I have this rule that I never pick up private numbers or numbers that are not saved on my phone. So anyway the past few weeks I have been getting so many missed calls from random numbers and private number and I just kept ignoring cos i had a feeling it might be him. So on Tuesday I got calls from a land phone and then texts asking how I was and saying they had been calling me but not getting any response. So i text back saying who is this? and no reply.
So I got curious and then when i saw ayanfe on wednesday I was like can you call this number and see who it is, she calls it and lo and behold, it is THE EX.
So i get home in the evening and the number is calling me again, so me thinking well its been 3 weeks, i am over it , i guess i could pick up and ask y hes calling and all. So i pick up, we talk normally, just the usua what are you up to,how are things and then he starts saying all this stuff like why have you not been picking up, i have been calling you with different numbers, you couldn't even call me, bla bla bla bla.So am like look, i have no business calling you on a regs, we r friends and we can talk once in a while and I am not the one who messed up so what am I calling you for. So I sha end d conversation on a light note, before things start getting all complicated again. And as I hung up, I got a text saying can we meet up and talk?, I was like errr nope nothing to talk about. And then he's like how can I say there is nothing to talk about that I am obviously still angry bla bla, I am like this isn't anger this is me liking how things are and not wanting anything to change. And then he kept insisting that we needed to see and talk about things. So i'm like okay, assuming you have stuff to talk about, what is so special that you want to say that can't be said over the phone?
and then he doesn't reply me. I am thinking wtf, is this guy on drugs and now i just feel like texting him asking him what he's flipping problem is and why he won't just leave me the hell alone.
Question now is should I give abdul a chance or should I follow my attraction and forget about Shola's age, and also, should I give the ex his talking wish and hope that he will just let things be after that....