My deepest fear

MY DEEPEST FEAR

“It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

Speaking of Bright Star secondary school, I remember a speech that the principal gave one of the last few days before our graduation telling us about how we needed to grow up and become young adults as we were being set free into the real world. Now graduation from university is here and it’s like OMG....this is the real “real” world. No more depending on your parents for virtually everything, I mean obviously you still can if you want to but it’s different when you are a graduate, I don’t know about you but I would feel like a bit of a failure having to still depend on my parents after college. It’s like okay, now its payback time; they need to start reaping the fruits of the seeds they planted in your life. Now that’s the scariest shit especially with the whole recession thing going on now, it’s like our generation will be the next big losing generation since the great depression in the early 90’s. What to do now is the big question?...so I have no job (nope, not even pending job offers), no offers to further my education to post graduate level (well fingers crossed that should change in a few weeks) and I am left with the last option of going back to Nigeria. As amazing as being back with the rents is, and not living the suffer head life of a student, ransacking my wardrobe towards the end of the month every time looking for some change I might have left in a pair of jeans during my richer days of the month...lol..There is actually a very big downside to it. There are the busybody extended family, co-workers who (God forgive me) could either not afford or didn’t think education in UK was worth spending money on, who will be waiting to point fingers and make cheeky comments about the child who comes back home after the so called “golden” UK education with no job.......and then there is the traditional ones who think once you are done with education, for a lady marriage should be no 1 priority, and they’ll start practising their match making skills on you, pushing you to their childhood friends so called “responsible son”...tcheeew..pleasseeeeee I am not ready for all that crap, there too many fine boys out there that i haven’t finished scoping/lusting after yet....and I am barely 22 I want to enjoy my lusting days. Don’t get me wrong though there are just as many fine boys in Nigeria, but it’s easier to move around in the western world. We all knew from the onset, entering University that when the real world comes not all of us would make the top notch jobs (when I say us I don’t mean me and my girlies, I mean everyone in our generation) . Some would have to end up in demeaning jobs, others in averagely paid ones...etc...but when we all have dreams, we never want to think of ourselves as being one of those that won’t make, after all we all want the best for ourselves. I think this is what brought this post on, because lately I have had this reality check at the back of my head, thinking OMG what group will I end up in? How will i cope? God what do you have in store for me? .....

And then I think of this Mr. A whom I met during my internship last summer who was a driver, he went to school with my dad and they were really good friends, each day he saw me at work he would go on about how he was so proud of me and he saw me as his daughter, and that even though he didn’t make it, he’s glad my dad did, and he lives off my dad’s success which is good enough for him. I am like OMG this dude is so content with himself, initially I used to pity him but all that pity just went away. It’s amazing how people can deal with situations and I just hope and pray that whatever lies in my future God will grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change...My deepest fear now is....where does my future lie???

Monisola

X

TRUE FRIENDS

Okay so we haven't blogged in a while (all due to exams) and after having a heart to heart with Morenike few days ago i feel very grateful for the friends I've got......so i have decided to share!

TRUE FRIENDS

As we walk our path of life
We meet people everyday
Most are simply met by chance
But some are sent our way

These become special friends
The ones who understands us
And share our joy and pain

Friends will come and go
But true friend are there forever
Through the good, the bad and the utmost ugly
True friends love you for who you are
Their love contains no boundaries

They hurt when you hurt
Put a smile on your face when you're down
Pick you up when you fall
They know every episode in the series of your life

True friends are very hard to find
So, even when we are apart
Their presence enhances us
With warmth in the heart

This love becomes a tunnel
When even the distances fade away
And so, these five friends, God sent my way
Remain forever near.

Love Always
Ayanfe

Meet the Ladies

It's been almost 11 years now since our first day at Bright Star Secondary School*. Although we all didn't become friends from the very first day of school, sometime in the six years we spent there fate brought us all together. Time has but tightened the bonds that hold us together. It is my pleasure to introduce to you the ladies:


Ayo* is the typical daddy's girl. Being the only girl she gets virtually everything she asks for. This girl can SHOP! She shops till the point of don't-be-silly. She never disappoints sartorially, loves owambe parties to a fault and never fails to deliver her Sisi Eko Attitude™ at such events. Don't get it twisted, Ayo is not a spoilt brat. Far from it, she is the most friendly one of the bunch. We never have a problem taking Ayo anywhere she has the gift of fitting in, whether we are in a posh environment or in an agbero one, she goes along without ever complaining. Bless her. She is very hardworking, our very own pharmacist in the making. Also very thoughtful, she never fails to bring back a souvenir for everyone when she travels. I would describe her as the Undercover Romantic- she believes in love but she is scared of being hurt but seriously who wouldn't at this time (where most guys are losers)?


Tokunbo* grew up abroad but came back to Nigeria for secondary school. Also the only girl in her family, but in her case I wouldn't necessarily say that it's a blessing. Tokunbo is one of the few out of the country aje butters that actually didn't behave like one, she had no choice, her mum is a very strict no-nonsense woman. I remember that time when she was caught with her bf in school, mehn she was so scared! Not like we helped matters oh, with us teasing her that the fear of Mama Tokunbo (her mum) is the beginning of wisdom. Like Ayo, she is also studying pharmacy and has one more year to go. Tokunbo is the Tender Lover. She is very sweet and I don't think she ever did not have a bf or love interest throughout our years in secondary school.


Monisola*. Hmmm. I have to sigh at the thought of her. A highly opinionated girl, she is one of those girls that you love to hate and hate to love. As far back as JSS 1 she already had her principles and would staunchly defend them, sometimes I would roll my eyes and think 'geez, just relax' Monisola is the archetype of an independent strong woman, she doesn't need anyone to validate her. She might appear stuck up or all knowing but once you get to know her you'll love her like we all do. Monisola has always loved Economics and she (and we all) knew what field she was going to pursue since secondary school. She is graduating in a few weeks Insha'Allah. Monisola is the Reckless Lover. She always has guys on her case so when one messes up, she is quick to kick him out and snaps for the next person...You go gurl! LOL

Ayanfe* used to be a tomboy in our secondary school days, she is easily the Sporty Spice of the bunch and was very active in sports especially basketball. Never one to care about people's opinion of her, she used to tease us on how long we spent dressing up. She never fails to remind us that the guys we were dressing up for were more interested in their stomachs (and what went in there) than they were in us. Ayanfe is a tell-it-as-it-is girl which gets annoying at times when you don't really need (or want) to hear the truth. However, she has changed a lot since we graduated from secondary school, she is now more sensitive to people's feelings. She will be graduating in May with a degree in Business which she hopes to parlay into a career as an Investment banker. In addition, Ayanfe has changed from her tom-boyish ways she even has more heels than all of us put together (whowouldathunkit??). The only thing that remains constant is her attitude towards guys, even as we speak she has never had a boyfriend. Ayanfe is the Ultimate Commitment Phobe. As soon as a guy starts calling her more than once a day he becomes a 'stalker' (her terms) then she later complains about how she will die a loner *insert my rolled eyes here*


Morenike* has always been the responsible and caring figure among us. Being the first of four kids, the caring attitude has been bestowed upon her right from birth. Morenike is also hard working, she never relents in her pursuit of her big dreams. When we were writing our Final Exams she warned us all not to write in cursive so the examiner couldn't deduct our scores on account of illegible writings. Every pharmacist out there should watch out, she just might put you out of business! Morenike's love life has definitely been the most interesting one of our motley crew. She loves as hard as she works. She believes the best in guys. Freshly out of a two-year relationship with The Smooth Talker (as i call him), Morenike is hot as ever and is ready for the next charmer to woo her.


Dara* is the rocker chic among us. Her interest in rock music (long before Rihanna made it cool again) made her stand out from the pop-and-R&B-obsessed-masses (us included). She exudes a quiet elegance that is in direct contrast to her interest in rock music and is extremely well spoken. Also opinionated, she does not approach an argument rashly but with clear and well thought out arguments. This is also why she is the brilliant legal mind among us. With only a few weeks left of law school (as of writing), she already has her ambitions set on reforming the Nigerian legal system. Lofty goals that I do not ever doubt that she will achieve. Despite the amount of attention she gets from all the STRICTLY fine boys (trust me, she gets a lot!), she has only been with one guy.


*Actual names have been redacted to protect the identity of the authors.

XOXO,

DAME HALOS

First Post

Our first official post will be coming up soon.

XOXO,
DAME HALOS.